I must warn you, first and foremost: if you are under 18, LEAVE NOW. To be direct to the point, I have decided that my calling is to be a porn writer mostly in the femdom and yaoi genres, and probably be the next E.L. James. From this point on, it would no longer be advisable for a minor to read my stuff.

 

If you are over 18 anyway, viower excretion is advisd.

After a while of pondering and soul-searching during my time of not being active on here, I have found out that my true purpose in this world is to be an X-rated writer. Yep, that's right; I am now switching genres from my usual shit that involves escaping the fate or some shit like that to hardcore pornography in the written word. Besides, I have grown tired of, well, escaping the fate. It is my fate, after all, to write about raunchy sex and sell millions of copies of my wet dreams eventually. 

With that said, I now have an adult-fanfiction account. Follow me! I am el-jimmeister there. Also, I'll mostly be updating for AO3 and AFF now because FFN and dA may not be allowing the stuff I'll be about to write soon. Image will still be updating on FFN and dA though, still with the M rating but with the really steamy sex scenes edited out.

Well, if it got E.L. James known throughout the world as THE BEST FUCKING WRITER EVAR, el-Jimmeister would most likely be able to do the same. Someday. In fact, my moniker was not given to me by Si1verwing, an old friend of mine who would probably turn me away when she sees my true colors which in fact are fifty shades of grey, but I really did get inspiration from my NEW favorite author. Sorry, Hermann Hesse, Antoine de-Saint Exupery, Hunter Thompson, J.D. Salinger, Dave Pelzer, and all the others I have failed to mention, but E.L. James is the one. Guess I was just a prudish guy who is in denial of his inner god that waited for so long to be broken free from the shackles of readers' expectations from that guy who wrote a wholesome, family-friendly fic about Plankton examining his life 10 years after the series finale. Oh, and Miss Irene Clearmont is awesome, too. Go check out her work as well. 

Besides, stuff like the ones I used to write are all crap shat out from my angsty, teenaged self. Perhaps, as a 23-year-old, I still acted like a high school freshman, and nobody really likes that. I don't even know how the hell Plankton's Eye View, my old shame from my angsty early college years, even got recommended on TV Tropes. Yeah, sure, One Less Lonely Gurl deserved to be on the now-defunct So Bad It's Horrible Fanfics page on there, but for that wretched dreck to even get recommended, which actually happened? Sheesh. What the hell, man.

But at least Image I can live with, and as I've said, I'll still be updating it. I mean, some bloke who changes his appearance to have lots of sex? Man, that would make for an awesome series of erotic stories. By the way, have you read the latest chapter already? It involves Ymmyj having the hottest sex with the hottest man on all of the Eternal Sphere/the universe... and beyond that.

...why are you looking at me like that? Look. Just because I am a testosterone-loaded smut writer now will not make me a homophobe. In fact, my genre switch will not change the fact that I am a raging bisexual with a preference for effeminate/androgynous men. Also, if el-James is the woman who wrote about dominant men being every woman's wet dream, then el-Jimmeister is the man who will mostly write about dominant females/femdom and yaoi often with his self-inserts (or some other attractive guy) as the uke. Huzzah!

Then again, nobody could really blame Ymmyj for wanting to fuck Albel (or rather, wanting to be fucked by Albel) because this.

Look at this.

 

Oh, and the fucking panty shot, bruh.

 

...

 

What now?

...anyway, now that I got that outta my chest, lemme summarize my NEW list of planned future projects, because I've decided to scrap almost all my old ideas, except for Image, which will, from now on, contain a sex scene every chapter, and 360, which has been retitled Set Me Free and now has an NC-17 rating instead of the R-13 it used to be, placing more emphasis on the hardcore sex scenes than previously planned. Also, I'll still be continuing the translation of that Naruto fanfic known as Naruto: Vengeance Revelations.

Main Projects

-Set Me Free, original fic

A novel about Aleksandr Antonov Saoirse, a 24-year-old Irish-Russian sex trafficker and heir to one of the world's largest sex trade and modern slavery black market syndicates. Before his father's passing, he worked mostly as the ring's chief loverboy, luring unsuspecting women (and men) into the life of prostitution and possible modern-day slavery by being sold in the Deep Web's black market. He was raised by his father, the kingpin of the trafficking ring, who always tells him that feminine women are inferior to real men, masculine women (females who are anything other than cisgendered heterosexual) are inferior to feminine women, and effeminate men (males who are anything other than cisgendered heterosexual) are inferior to masculine women. With that, only real men (top tier) should have rights of ownership and mastery over his domain, and the others may be treated as property. And if a real man ever fucks an effeminate man, it's always a matter of dominance and power rather than sexual attraction which is natural to feel for any woman, masculine or feminine. Therefore, Aleksandr should actually be at the bottom of the aforementioned food chain because he's actually bisexual and rather pretty for a 'real man', bearing much resemblance to Jonathan Braddock, the lead guitarist of Get Scared. (Although the resemblance to Johnny is not actually gonna be mentioned explicitly in-story.)

During a typical day of scouting for new pretty faces to abduct, he would meet 21-year-old Filipino-American architecture student Zachary Fernandez-Smithson, whom he has a lot of things in common with, and Aleksandr would find himself actually developing feelings for the mysterious young man. But because of the nature of his family's less-than-noble livelihood and fear for his life, he would have to abduct the younger man and turn him into one of the trafficking ring's sex slaves in order to please his father who could subject him to the same tortures the captives go through, the same tortures that he himself sometimes administered, at any time. His growing confusion about his true sexual orientation led him to become more sadistic, dealing increasingly, unimaginably brutal tortures to the wretched sex slaves, including Zachary, just 'for the hell of it.' His increasing sadism pleased his father, becoming proud that he had raised his son right, turning out to be a real man who has devoted his time to restoring the balance of nature through the hierarchy of the genders through whatever means.

But just when he thought he would be free to come out as a bisexual and escape with Zachary to live a simple, happy life deep within a secluded forest when his father had passed away, Landon, his father's most loyal assistant, was tasked to continue keeping Aleksandr in his place even though he had become the ringmaster by name. But even then, Aleksandr wanted only Zachary despite having over thousands of attractive female (and a few male) prostitutes at his beck and call. At some point, Aleksandr found himself planning how he would systematically break apart the entire trafficking ring's operations and deep-rooted networks and free all the sex slaves even with the risk of his arrest even just for Zachary's sake.

But then, Zachary had ran away from the ring off to no man's land, off to the vast desert outside of the subterranean warehouse where he was being held. Aleksandr, confused as ever and on the brink of insanity, became a full-on sadist who worsened even more, just when it was thought to be impossible, the conditions of the places where prostitutes and the soon-to-be-sold-to-slavery were confined when not on duty calls, and he subjected them to more brutal tortures to hide his despair and grief over Zachary's escape and most likely possible demise in his attempt to escape by getting starved and dehydrated in the Death Valley.

Seven years since Zachary's escape, an operative conducted by then-disgraced Benjamin Hayes, former lead guitarist of one of the world's biggest metal bands of the time, eventually found Makayla, a sex slave in the ring, who was also his wife who had disappeared the same seven years ago after an illicit affair with Aleksandr. Benjamin's love and devotion for his wife caused the entire ring to crumble into dust, freeing at least thousands of sex slaves. Landon committed suicide, unable to fathom how many lives he had helped destroy, and Aleksandr was then arrested. In solitary confinement, he realized that he had allowed hatred to prevail over all the opportunities he was given for love to save him, even though the love was considered an aberration against nature by his loathsome upbringing. Meanwhile, Zachary was already happily married to a more emotionally-stable gay man who is thankfully not a sex trafficker, having all but forgotten about his psychotic 'ex-boyfriend' who almost killed every part of him.

-Image, Reflection, Photograph. Star Ocean 3 fanfiction

A three-part series of fics about Ymmyj Thyms, a shapeshifting seducer who has insecurities with his body image, which he masks by taking on different forms to have emotionless sex with different people as a form of self-validation. He has a rather unusual appearance in that he is quite short, he has misshapen ears, and he has a tail. He wasn't purely human, but he was part-Menodix. His mother was a refugee from a conflict that went on in the Sanmite Republic when he was an infant.

He was a former runology student, and he was adopted by a merchant couple from Peterny who could not have a child due to the man's impotency. The two merchants were wealthy, and they gave their adopted son the privilege of a life of luxury and imparted to him the skill of jewelry craftsmanship. However, because he was bullied in school for his appearance and lack of physical prowess, he decided to call it quits when he was fifteen. He went on his own adventure, disowning his caste-climbing parents who, to him, seemed like they only adopted him so that he could become an esteemed runologist and become part of the Royal House of Aquaria and his parents could become nobles, a notch higher than the caste they occupy as wealthy merchants and skilled jewelry craftspeople. He was also hopelessly infatuated with Lemeena, a beautiful girl who was a few years his senior. She made him feel insecure about himself because of his unusual appearance, and she was also the one who indirectly, but primarily, motivated him to begin his debauched adventure of promiscuity and to learn the forbidden art of shapeshifting. He became a member of the hunting clan in Kirlsa that aimed to give society's marginalized a second lease in life, occupying his time with errands and missions to slay monsters that attempt to enter towns and endanger people.

After six years of a carefree life even in the midst of an ongoing war, he was sent on a mission to find out what are the motives of the two strange men that fell from the sky into the City of Airyglyph. He would find company with Nel Zelpher, the hottest woman on all of Elicoor II who happens to be half of the double-sided Crimson Blade, and he would also find himself in a threesome with her and her longtime lesbian partner, her other half, Clair Lasbard.

But despite having the best threesome ever, he would find that the person he considered to be the ultimate conquest, the deepest desire, was none other than Albel Nox, captain of the Black Brigade, whom he would turn into his willing personal whore at his beck and call after defeating him in a spar session that cost him his title as captain. And, crazily enough, Albel actually prefers Ymmyj's real form despite all the flaws Ymmyj sees in himself.

Despite his legendary sexual experience, though, Ymmyj would find out that when he is in his real form, he becomes reluctant to even attempt the sexual acts he had performed on random people in his other forms. Throughout the story, Ymmyj would gain the confidence to do all those things. Albel would always reassure him, although in his characteristically disparaging manner, that Ymmyj would never have to pretend to be someone he is not, and that he is not 'dirty' for having a libido even when he got found out and hated by the whole universe for his past promiscuity and the fact that he had spread AIDS throughout the continent of Gaitt.

-Naruto: Vengeance Revelations, Naruto fanfiction, proper-English translation of story originally by Jake Tanner

Ronan Beelzebub, a 13-year-old from Los Alamitos with the power to shoot blue light out of his hands, moved to the village of Konohagakure in search of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll after having fucked all the girls in his hometown with his gigantic cock. He would discover there that he is part of a prophecy that could spell the destruction of the entire world, and now it is up to him to go against this while fucking every other girl along the way and preaching his ideals of atheism, logic, and the wonders of classic rock.

Side Projects

-Pink n' Purple Passion, Star Ocean 3 fanfiction

Everybody knows Sophia Esteed as the sweet, cutesy, naive everygirl in pink who would make a good housewife. But not even her goody-two-shoes childhood friend, Fayt Leingod, whom everybody expects her to marry, knows that she has a BDSM fetish, specifically female domination, and that when she looks at Albel Nox, she would visualize him hogtied on her bed completely naked save for his thigh-high stockings, his firm and lovely buttocks reddened from all the spanking and whipping, and a hot pink ball gag stuffed inside his pretty mouth. All she did was wait until she turns 18 to finally make her move and fulfill her darkest sexual fantasies on the purple-clad swordsman. And Albel actually likes being treated like the dirty slut he is really fated (geddit) to be. Later on, Fayt would find out about his childhood friend's fetish, and... giving the next part away is gonna be a spoiler.

-The Crimson Trilogy: Crimson Hair, Crimson Blade, Crimson Scourge, Star Ocean 3 fanfiction

Aquaria won the war against Airyglyph, and Albel Nox was one of the prisoners-of-war they had captured. He would find out for himself that Aquaria really was not the gentle, peaceful queendom and theocracy that most people see it as from the surface of its whitewashed palace. Deep within the complex subterranean dungeon that hid underneath the pristine, elegant, marble edifice, a certain crimson-haired warrioress has her way with him and he learns his proper place, which is on his knees and beneath her heels, with his crimson, scourged buttocks up in the air and open for her to use and abuse on her own whims. AU, assumes that Fayt, Cliff, and Mirage never landed on Elicoor II. A trilogy that chronicles the complete and absolute subjugation, humiliation, and degradation of Airyglyph's once-greatest swordsman under the violating caresses of Nel Zelpher, his captor.

-Violet Violation, Star Ocean 3 Fanfiction

What happened to Albel Nox during his time in prison when he was charged with treason? Ever since he had hit puberty, Duke Vox, the king's warmongering uncle, had always lusted after him. Now that Albel has become helpless and vulnerable after his defeat in Fayt Leingod's hands, the duke would see this as an opportunity to fulfill his most sordid desires. Unfortunately for Albel, Fayt would never come to pick him up in order to help them tame Crosell, and he would never see the light of day again, or his dignity as the world's greatest swordsman. (In this fic, everything that happened in-game when Albel joins the party is all but a dream.) Rather, he would be reduced to being the Duke's sex toy and, later on, surgical dummy.

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-Swan-Pecked Vampire, Twilight Fanfiction

Bella Swan had risen above being a socially-awkward, emo wallflower in high school to become the CEO of a high-technology company that had been responsible for almost every innovation ever since the year 2020, including hover cars, spaceships that travel faster than light, an improved version of the Thneed, and the time machine. Meanwhile, Edward Cullen is a vampire, over hundreds of years old, who is still in high school. Or rather, he's a delusional 23-year-old who still acted as though he was in freshman year, and nobody really likes him. He never outgrew his 'goff' phase and preferred to bathe in glittered water. He had taken on various identities to hide the fact that he could never get past senior year. He's also a junkie, and the vampiric superpowers he thinks he has are simply the effects of the drugs he's been on. In order for him to finally graduate, he was tasked to interview Miss Swan, whom he would learn later on has a fetish for female domination and an interest in vampire mythology. Needless to say, he would never graduate, but he would find true happiness in being Bella's personal whore who would resolve her problems with love and intimacy that stemmed from her rejections in high school and from ordinary men who found her too intimidating, too smart, and too successful to be desirable. Jacob Black, the company's vice president, would try to 'put Bella in her place' upon learning of what had happened to Edward, but Bella curb-stomp pwns him as well and turns him into her second personal whore.

-Chocolate Milk, a fanmade MilkFic spin-off

"What if we used chocolate milk instead of regular milk?" asked Brendon Urie.

-Men of No Color, an accompanying novel for Ehrlik's work

In an alternate version of Earth, white males are considered to mere chattel for black and middle-eastern women, who are considered to be the privileged. A young man in a war-torn area of the impoverished Iceland who dared to name himself Gabriel attempts to change this by advocating education for underprivileged white males, but of course, he fails, and finds that his true calling is happiness in slavery, in servitude for the Queen of Afghanistan. That is, until another guy restarted the resistance movement that Gabriel had first established and finds him in the palace and attempts to snap the enslaved former rebel back to his old self.

-Tifa Makes Cloud a Sandwich, Final Fantasy VII fanfic

Tifa makes Cloud a sandwich... a sandwich where the pieces of bread are restraints, and Cloud himself is the filling.

-Kurse All SeeDs, Final Fantasy VIII fanfic

The SeeDs have saved the world from time compression, but not without a few glitches in the matrix. The bodies of Squall, Zell, and Irvine are present in the saved world, but their souls are not. Ultimecia had actually succeeded in assimilating the three young men into her pocket singularity where she continues to exist as a dominiatrix in her queendom of isolation where her only subjects are the three youths she had absorbed into time. Now, Rinoa, Quistis, and Selphie have to restart time compression with the help of Ellone, fuck up the world again, and attempt to save the three guys who had accompanied them to defeat Ultimecia previously.

-The Image of Vengeance Revealed, Image x Naruto Veangance Revelaitons Crossover

Edfred, Muskoka, Koko, and Aliisa, a group of Gary Stu hunters, have just captured Ymmyj Thyms and Ronan Beelzub. While in the void where the two stu souls were being contained, Ymmyj shows Ronan how it's actually done. Ronan, a very definitely straight guy, gets confused with his sexual orientation afterwards. I have already started work on this before, but this time, the story will be more risque than what I originally had in mind. And Ymmyj will be the seme.

-Slither, Gapang/Crawl fanfiction

The tables have turned. Wendy's naiveté, meekness, and innocence have long been dead and gone, and now it's Freddy's turn to be completely dominated, degraded, and humiliated by various women after everything he had done to his niece.

-Going Under, My Immortal fanfiction

One-shot. Ebony Way and her best friend Willow have sex in Hot Topic's fitting room while Tom Rid, the hot salesman who was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE, watches and eventually joins in.

-Metal Up Your Ass, original fic

A one-shot about a socially-awkward, skinny 18-year-old guy who loses his virginity backstage to the members of an all-female death metal band that likes it rough.

-Spirit of Adventure, Up fanfiction

The spirit of Carl and Ellie's adventure through their life as a couple is in the bedroom. A fic that explores the mundane (and not-so-mundane) things that they do at night to keep the adventure alive while waiting on the promise of Paradise Falls.

-Behind the Display Cabinet, Toy Story fanfiction

Woody would see Andy's woody from behind the wood-and-glass display cabinet in his owner's bedroom. And sometimes, Buzz would be abuzz whenever he hears a buzz interspersed with deep grunts of pleasure. Inspired by a meme some genius made about this possibility.

-One Less Lonely Gill, Spongebob Squarepants fanfiction

Ever wondered what was up with Fred Rechid's leg? Let Monica Mable explain.

-Danny, Denis, and Dennis, bandslash, BVB, AA, We are Harlot

Danny Worsnop, Denis Shaforostov, and Andy Dennis Biersack have a threesome in a warehouse while the girls from the 'Death of Me' Asking Alexandria music video, who are actually secretly bandslash authors, watch them from behind the glass containers they are contained in.

-Androgynous Aubergine, Final Fantasy IX x Star Ocean 3 Crossover

When Luther attempted to delete the entire universe, Kuja and Albel met in the middle of the mess of distorted galaxies, and the eldritch tangled branches of the Iifa Tree. They then have the hawtest yaoi sexorz evar. It was so mind-blowingly sexy that Luther decided not to delete the universe anymore, Necron never manifested itself into existence, and every yaoi fangirl ever started to shit in rainbows that recreated the entire almost-destroyed universe.

So, there you have it. This is why I went on hiatus for a month.