Yes. I did contemplate suicide at some point, screw-up after screw-up. That's why I left. That's why I went on hiatus. I was too busy writing my suicide note, thinking again, for the nth time, that I've had it with life. I'm too short, I am such a messed-up fucker, I'm the guy most people in both the pop and metalhead communities would consider a poser... But you know what? What the hell. As I was proofreading my suicide note, (I don't want to be caught dead next to a suicide note ridden with grammatical and spelling errors) I realized that what I had in my hands became an anti-suicide note.
Come on, I have you guys. I have people truly enjoying my written work and art. I have you, my watchers. I have good friends, and I did make it to the Dean's List several times. I have tutored some people in trigonometry, and I've helped them raise their grades. Most of all, at least I know that I have made someone happy. (You know who you are, and you are one of my friends here in deviantArt.) And a poser? Really? Well, I don't even try to be someone I am not. Well, I did once pretend to be my antithesis, and my attempt was a complete failure. If I do listen to the likes of Cerebral Bore, Megadeth, Blind Guardian, and Sonata Arctica, I can and will listen to All Time Low and My Chemical Romance. I don't give a shit.
Now, here's the anti-suicide note I came up with...
That's it. I've had it with life! I've had it with fucking up time and time again, and I've had it with feeling like this. But if I am to stop myself from feeling like this, this misery has to end once and for all! I will rise up and do something about my situation. I will change my life because I'm fed up with it. I will be back... with a vengeance.
For my twenty years of existence, I have fallen short in every fucking thing. Of the many people in the world, it has to be me who has to look up to everybody and be looked down on, literally. But you know what, well, the guys of AC/DC are shorter than the standard fare, and they are world-famous. And how about Prince? Besides, if I will be able to do a lot of good things for this world despite my size, my size will only make me more badass. That's why there is a trope called Pintsized Powerhouse on TVTropes, and the guy who made my TVTropes page put this trope as one of the tropes that apply to me. At least someone in the world thinks I'm badass, and isn't that supposed to be a good thing? Well, the mere fact that I have a TVTropes page that someone else made is remarkable itself.
That's it, I'm tired. Goodbye, world... for today. I really need to go to sleep in order to see another day.
To the people I was supposed to leave behind, rock on. Thank you for being there for me. Without you guys, I would not be writing you this note. There would be no point in writing this if I were to die alone and wither away. Well, that's why this ended up becoming an anti-suicide note instead of, well, a suicide note. I realized that if I actually need a suicide note... What is the point of a suicide note in the first place? Its very purpose is to be read. And who else will read it, but the people who actually care?
PS. I knew it. When I left, the news came out that jo bel might not be a troll. Now that I'm back, sort of, I hope I can do something about the new situation. However, I will still rarely post as I am a very busy young man.
PSS. Watch Jeremy Saffer!
PSSS. I found a grammatical error in my anti-suicide note. Lol. Anyway, it's been edited, and I don't want to be caught alive with a grammatically incorrect anti-suicide note.