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Submitted on
February 4, 2013
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5 (who?)
In my mind there is war,
Between myself and this façade,
This heavy cross that I bore,
Sometimes led me to question God.

A mask and dress forcibly sewn into my skin,
Jabbed sharp needles at every stitch,
Wounded what I have once been,
And soon reduced it to a festering Lich.

Like a cadaver left to rot in the forest,
And devoured by ravenous vultures,
My old self has been violently laid to rest,
As I was introduced to new cultures.

These were cultures of depravity,
Of hedonism, glamour, and pretense,
And I resent its entirety;
For none of this made any sense.

I tried to stop the Seamstress,
From completing Her hideous handiwork,
But I was in excruciating distress,
As She continued with an evil smirk.

I looked at who I have become,
Or at least who I had been forced to be,
I had to force myself to be numb,
For I absolutely loathed what I see.

However, there was a time,
When She showed me the fashionable masquerade,
Tempted me into this life I now see as a crime,
And soon, this hideous dress I now wear has been made.

I wanted so badly to be me again,
Unravel this repulsive thread,
Be one with free men and women,
And forget all about this dread.

But alas! I can no longer turn back!
The seams have been sewn shut,
My old self has faded to black,
As She finished the fabric with one last cut.
This is a poem about the rivalry between the true self and the mask that the narrator is being forced to wear.

Dedicated to :iconheather-collins:, someone who is facing this very problem right now. (I hope you get through this! You are a strong person, and I know for sure that you will brave this storm.)

Furthermore, this poem is also for people who can't seem to be themselves in a judgmental society that painfully forces the fabrics of deception and pretense into their beings.

100 Themes: [link]
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Heather-Collins Feb 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You wrote this?
el-Jimmeister Feb 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yup. :)
Heather-Collins Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
el-Jimmeister Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome. (By the way, Sally has been acting pretty nice to me lately despite the fact that I had been such an asshole to her after her rather offensive statement about all rapists being male in a comment in Chapter 2 of her fanfic. Have any idea what's going on?)
Heather-Collins Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, have you seen her latest Journal?
el-Jimmeister Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yep. I'm actually pretty surpised that she listened to me despite the fact that I had been such a major jerkass to her.
Heather-Collins Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, I guess that made it clear that she had crossed the line hugely.
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